The Poetary

Are you ok? I hate that question. Are you ok? It is the most useless question.  Are you ok? You don't really want to know. Are you ok? As you drum your thumbs and rolls your eyes. Are you ok? As you check your watch and make a face.  Are you ok? As you look anywhere except at me. Are you ok? No, I am not ok. Are you ok? As you turn your head and walk away.

Riding off into the proverbial sunset There is no more threat To the happily ever after Ready to move on to the next chapter But the demons that once haunted  your dreams, leaves you exhausted  Once again letting the fear  Of being too mere and drear Keeps you from waiting for your knight To save you from the villains fight  And now the fairytale conclusion Just feels like a delusion  And the Prince that once saved you Only waited a few and withdrew  And the dragons he once slayed  Have again emerged out of the shade There you are all alone in the dark Left with these bruises and marks To remind you why you stop believing  In happy endings. They leave you weeping And having to be your own prince To slay your own dragons, has you convinced  That you could be the hero of this story  And although hurt, depart with all the glory.  

I remember when it happened. I remember being a bit taken aback. I remember laughing a little from shock before breaking down onto the floor. I remember my childhood friend had slept over that night despite us being grown up. I remember my mothers face when she told me. I remember my brother sitting right next to her holding her hand while moving his thumb back and forth. I remember that it was a Saturday morning. I remember despite the tears falling from my eyes, thinking about how awkward my friend will feel when I tell her. I remember going back into bed and thinking we knew this was coming so why is it so hard now that it's here. I remember waking up the next day and not remembering what happened right away. I remember getting out of bed and calling people I've never spoken to, to invite them. I remember my mothers panic attack when we got to the cemetery. I remember my father helping here back up and calming her down. I remember sweating in the heat while the rabbi spoke.

The warmth of the summer seeps into the skin like no other time. It's as though the sun can finally see clearly after months waiting. Everyone leaves their house with a smile and reeking of sunscreen. Little girls on the corner selling mouth watering, ice cold lemonade. But, best of all school is no where to be seen. The shift from summer to fall is subtle at first. Air drops a degree at a time until it's a delicious mix of not hot but not really cold. One by one, leaves begin to turn crisp and fall, fluttering vibrant shades of oranges and reds and yellows. Thanksgiving, reminding us all we have to be grateful for and of the magical winter nights to come. The temperature sinks those last few degrees into winter. Days become more rushed to get everything done as the nights start to come in earlier. The first snowflake lands on the ground. It instantly melts and as time goes on, they stick and clump until there's enough to make snowmen and angels and snowba

There are different kinds of heartbreak One loss does not have priority of your heart No matter the kind it'll be awhile before there's no more ache Losing a friend can make a person shake Watching the long relationship depart There are different kinds of heartbreak The loss of a parent makes you lay awake Thinking about the what if's makes one want to restart No matter the kind it'll be while before there's no more ache Losing a spouse can feel like an earthquake Not having that person can make someone feel jarred There are different kinds of heartbreak After losing a child one must be strong for their sanity's sake A part of the parent died and is scarred No matter the kind it'll be awhile before there's no more ache All types of loss are terrible even if it's fate One mourns the relationship no matter how easy or hard There are different kinds of heartbreak No matter the kind it'll be awhile before there's no more ac

Sometimes I think about the past,  I think about the friends I used to have  I think about the boys I used to date  I think about my grandfather I think about the old teachers I used to have  I think about the decisions I made  I think about all the interesting people I've met  And, I think about if I have already made a difference in this world. Sometimes I think about the present,  I think about the classes I am taking I think about my current friends  I think about the books I am reading I think about the movies I am watching I think about the jokes that cause my laughter I think about the people who are impacting my life And, I think about how I can make a difference in this world.  Sometimes I think about the future, I think about who I will marry  I think about who my kids will be I think about if my parents will be proud of me I think about who my siblings will turn out to be I think about what my relationship with God will be li