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Sometimes

Sometimes I think about the past, 
I think about the friends I used to have 
I think about the boys I used to date 
I think about my grandfather
I think about the old teachers I used to have 
I think about the decisions I made 
I think about all the interesting people I've met 
And, I think about if I have already made a difference in this world.

Sometimes I think about the present, 
I think about the classes I am taking
I think about my current friends 
I think about the books I am reading
I think about the movies I am watching
I think about the jokes that cause my laughter
I think about the people who are impacting my life
And, I think about how I can make a difference in this world. 

Sometimes I think about the future,
I think about who I will marry 
I think about who my kids will be
I think about if my parents will be proud of me
I think about who my siblings will turn out to be
I think about what my relationship with God will be like
I think about what my career will be
And, I think about if I will make a difference in this world.

Comments

  1. OddservationsFebruary 25, 2020 at 3:33 PM

    I really like the tone of this poem. It's cool that all the lines start out the same and are kind of cyclical in nature. I would just be careful to make sure you are repeating things that are too similar:
    I think about the friends I used to have
    I think about the old teachers I used to have
    Maybe change one so it doesn't sound repetitive.

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  2. Efrat MalachiMarch 2, 2020 at 11:59 AM

    There's good usage of anaphora here with the repetition of "I think about" and the way you start each stanza with the same word "sometimes" and end with the same idea if you will ever be able to change the world in a meaningful way. This creates a nice full circle from where you began, ultimately showing how these thoughts and memories accompany all of us throughout life. So I like the universal yet personal touch here. Maybe make the lines convey ideas that are closer to the other in nature instead of writing lines with ideas that jump around to many different places. It would keep it a bit more steady and consistent for the reader.

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  3. Malka D. GorbunovMarch 19, 2020 at 7:52 PM

    What I liked best about this poem was the end line of each stanza, where you view the idea of making a difference in the world from the perspectives of past, present, and future. Also, the tone of the poem is deceptively simple. You use ordinary phrases like, "I think about the books I am reading", and when you read all those phrases together, they sound very genuine and heartfelt. I would make a few small changes in word choice, though. In the first stanza, maybe don't end two lines with "used to have", but change one of them for something similar. For example, you could say, "I think about the old teachers in whose classes I sat..." Well, that actually sounds a bit clunky. But just find some other, slightly varied ending. Also, in the second stanza, maybe change "the jokes that cause my laughter". I don't think laughter is really "caused". It's evoked, maybe, or triggered. It's up to you if you want to use another word. That's just a place where it might be beneficial to find a slightly more specific word. Otherwise, it's very nice and sincere. I think anyone can relate to its message, and its expressed very convincingly from three different viewpoints.

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